"Touristas" is a real departure for Stockwell. Unlike his other films "Blue Crush" (set on a beach in Hawaii) and "Into the Blue" (set on a beach in the Bahamas), "Touristas" is set on a beach in Brazil. That's totally different! They even speak some weird language down there that's not English!
The plot begins with a very novel approach to the classic horror formula - an unexpected accident strands our young, attractive protagonists in a remote location. Lucky for them, there happens to be an awesome, unspoiled beach nearby, sparsely populated with some friendly locals (or are they?...). Blah, blah. Fast-forward to the good part:
Yea! Boobies!
Turns out that one of the chicks forgot her bathing suit top in Rio! Silly girl! Strangely enough, about twenty minutes later in the movie, she finds it again - *it's a Christmas miracle*.
The plot limps along as our gringo travelers make one cringe-inducing decision after another (C'mon, guys, let's follow this shady guy into the depths of the Brazilian jungle! Of course it's safe!). The dramatic climax, I must warn you, is a major let-down. Especially after we are warned, point-blank, that the villain has an "elaborate" plan up his sleeve that is effin' effed. Meh. It's kind of effed. It was the kind of thing that Hannibal Lecter was probably doing in pre-school.
All told, the movie really had some very important lessons at its core. First of all, never leave America. People who aren't American are Scary and Bad, and they will probably try to kill you. I also learned this: Sometimes, when you speak to people in other countries, they will look at you like they don't understand English or something. Of course they speak English. Everyone speaks English.
My favorite part of this fantastically entertaining DVD was the bonus features. In one of the bonus features, they reveal some of the film's special effects secrets, and frankly I was blown away by the sheer ingenuity of these talented filmmakers. For example, one scene features a character getting stabbed in the foot. **spoiler alert!!** Well, it turns out that it wasn't his real foot!! It was a fake foot! With fake blood and everything! Brilliant! I bet that actor was relieved! We also get some real "face time" with the director, who further enlightens us about the very real threat kidnapping/organ harvesting poses to Americans abroad.
Turistas - don't miss it!
(Is it just me, or is one tooth longer than the other?)
