Best worst movie of the year.... was NOT "Snakes on a Plane", although that did have its own awesomely bad merit. It provided hipsters with some amusing catch-phrases for a while, and it made for some very entertaining Halloween costumes. Ultimately, though, it tried too hard to be bad. I like my bad movies to have some smug director standing behind them, completely immune to the stench of their cinematic turd. Therefore...the best worst movie of the year was...... "Crank"!
Yes! This craptastic masterpiece (which I am completely convinced was written and directed by a 14 year-old boy, given the sophomoric story and proliferation of boobies) offers a stunningly lazy plot that centers around a mildly culturally offensive "Ancient Chinese Secret" poison. It's non-stop, cheezy action from beginning to end, sprinkled with a healthy dose of T and A. Don't worry guys, none of the women actually speak, except for one exceptionally vapid, nearly naked blonde.
(She's acting. Like, really, really hard.)
I don't want to ruin the ending...well, maybe I do. He dies. He runs around doing crazy shit, trying to keep his adrenaline flowing, then he dies. But this should not prevent every able-bodied American (especially males between the ages of 14 and 22) from walking - nay, running to the nearest proprieter of DVDs and adding this gem to their collection.
