Reflections on a journey: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

When you spend two months in India, people expect you to come back with something. Not like a scarf or a tan,  but something equally tangible. So, what am I bringing back? Besides several scarves, some sparkly bangles, and a new found appreciation for probiotics and Imodium? Lots of things. Most of them I'll keep to myself, but I have been composing a list in my head for the past few days. Actually, it's two lists - Things I Will Not Miss About India and Things I Will Miss About India- but like most things having to do with India, the opposites intersect and edges blur and intertwine in such a way that they are sometimes indistinguishable. 


Appropriately, a mashup ensued - please see below. In the coming days, I'll be going back and adding photos to the blogs I previously posted (sorry, the Internet situation in India goes snugly in the "WON'T MISS" category; posting photos while there was a three-step process that was usually hampered by slow or non-existent WiFi connections). Also, one of the immediately tangible items from my trip is my shiny new blog, The Skeptical Yogi. It can be found here: http://theskepticalyogi.wordpress.com/. It will be primarily focused on healthy living topics and yoga. I'll keep this site for personal use, but I'll be updating regularly over there.


Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.



1) I will not/will miss the driving. My driver, BK, told on the first day of my Rajasthan road trip that Indian drivers require only three things: Good brakes, good horn, and good luck. I've been to some countries where traffic "laws" have been treated more as "suggestions", but never anywhere like India. In India, there aren't even any discernible suggestions. It's total mayhem all the time. It's great and it's terrible. It's loud and noisy and stinky, but teeming with life and more representative of real life in India than any museum diorama could ever hope to be.


2) I will not/will miss the cows. In India, cows are everywhere. It's not unusual to see traffic stopped because some cows decided to take a midday snooze in the middle of the road. They have free reign of the place (meaning, the whole country), and as such, walking anywhere should never be a mindless activity. The smell of cow dung permeates the air, sometimes bringing a whiff of freshness and life, other times a malodorous tiding of a ruined shoe, moments too late.


3) I will not/will miss the complete lack of privacy in India. I will miss it because it really made me appreciate American culture, a lot, on a daily basis. We may be considered prudes in the eyes of more liberal countries, but in the U.S., we take our personal space and privacy seriously. I didn't realize how much I valued that until it vanished. In India, there are very few boundaries. Few questions are off limits, and "personal space" isn't part of the national vocabulary. In a country where it's not uncommon to see a dog and a person sharing the same strip of grass to do their morning business, such notions are laughable. 


4) I will not/will miss the food. Lots of my fellow students complained about the food we had during our month of training. I thought it was great. I happily ate (most) everything we were served, and occasionally paid for it. I will miss the wonderful flavors and aromas of the food. I am looking forward, however, to some variety! It won't be long before I try my hand at cooking some of the meals we were served regularly.


I mostly won't miss the hygiene situation in general. Both the bathrooms and the cultural hygiene mores I am happy to leave behind. The morning routine is one I especially won't miss. The first time I heard it, I had just settled down to a delicious-looking breakfast at my hotel in Jaisalmer - a fresh mango lassi, paradtha and pickles, and piping hot Marsala chai. I was starving and began to dig in, when I couldn't help but notice a ghastly sound coming from a nearby outdoor bathroom. It sounded like someone was getting horribly ill. Retching and hacking sounds emanated from the poor fellow inside. I felt bad for him, and the barf concerto in B flat put me off my breakfast completely. 


It wasn't until that guy skipped out of the bathroom looking fresh as a daisy, and the next guy stepped in and began a new series of horrible retching sounds, that I realized this was just part of the daily routine. It doesn't have a name that I know of, but it's a terrible-sounding sort of throat clearing process that most Indian men do every morning after brushing their teeth. I can happily live the rest of my days without hearing that sound again. 


The last thing that bears mentioning is treatment of women. Even though living it gave me a new appreciation the why, I still found myself chafing daily at the assumptions that were made about me again and again, just because of my gender.  I understand that women there are, for the most part, respected and revered. The part I couldn't wrap my head around was the "I'm such a delicate flower" part, where because I'm a woman, I can't walk around by myself, or drive, or wear a tank top because my lady powers might make the menfolk crazy and then who knows what could happen!! The part where I walked into a shop to buy some pencils and have to  run out because the proprietor of the shop  thinks it's okay to put his arm around me and try to kiss me because I'm a delicate flower (also, because I am a hoochie momma Westerner, thanks a lot, Hollywood) - that part?! That part I won't miss. 


As I was getting off the plane in Helsinki, I was flooded with relief that I was back in the "West". Not surprisingly, some Indian dude tried to elbow past me on the jet way, and at first I acquiesced. Then I remembered, I'm not in India anymore! "You're in my house now, bitch!" I thought, as I elbowed him back and strutted off without the slightest bit of remorse.

A Game of Thrones

Everyone told me it would happen. Lonely Planet assured me of it. Even my doctor, as he gave me a typhoid shot, cheerfully chirped, "Oh, you'll definitely get sick while you're over there." Way to give a traveler confidence! 
But, as I type this, my classmates are up enjoying a philosophy class while my roommate and I are sequestered to our room. The ailment responsible goes by many names, but here it's known as Delhi Belly. Or, "traveler's tummy" to put it delicately. It, in some form or another, has taken down one classmate after another, like so many dominoes. After two weeks, I was beginning to feel pretty confident that I had developed some kind of intestinal immunity during my travels. With a mixture of pity and superiority, I watched fellow students miserably shuffling to the kitchen for their bananas and rice while the unafflicted feasted on wonderful meals.
Until today.
Maybe it was the over-confidence that overrode the (sometimes excessive) cautiousness I had thus far taken with food, but yesterday, in spite of some misgivings, I shoveled our "special snack" into my mouth with reckless abandon. In spite of its shocking, off-putting shade of orange. In spite of the fact that I don't like sweets. And today, I'm paying for it. Along with a good number of my fellow would-be yogis. We learned today that, instead of being prepared in the kitchen like the rest of our lunches, it was procured from the village nearby. The shroud of mystery that encircles the exact bacteria and its origins is not one I am eager to dispel.
With Delhi Belly, and with its many insidious cousins, timing is everything. In between spasms of stomach pains, I am trying to feel grateful that it happened when it did, where it did. I could have fallen ill somewhere on the road, where the only restroom option was a fly-swarmed "squatter" with no toilet paper.  Here, my only problem is splitting up bathroom time shares with my equally ill roommate.
After all, it was just a matter of time, right? That's it for now; it's time for my rice and bananas.

The Vegan Experiment: Days 4 & 5

I have to admit - I was a little lax these last two days of this experiment when it came to documenting my progress. The reason will become clear momentarily.

Day 4

I mentioned before that I had an event to attend this evening. I was looking forward to it, but I knew it would be a challenge to stay with my vegan diet. Challenge?! I had no idea...

Breakfast - Since I had a feeling dinner would be spare (at best), I decided to indulge myself a little by starting my day with an Amy's Tofu Scramble pocket. To be fair, I had eaten these before. I recommend them to ANYONE - carnivores and herbivores alike! Srambled tofu may not sound too appetizing, but it is amazing (and 100% vegan).

Lunch - I had been waiting all week to try a sandwich from Uncle Marky's Organics, a nearby sandwich shop that caters to vegetarians. I figured there was no time like the present, so I ordered a tofu BLT (grilled tofu, tempeh "bacon", lettuce, tomato and vegan mayo on multi-grain bread). It was surprisingly fantastic! I was dubious when I placed the order, as I had tried tempeh before and found it to be...well, honestly, gross and really dry. I was relieved to be wrong!

Dinner - I filled up as much as I could before leaving work for the event at the library. Almonds, fruit, some Pop Chips.

I got to the library, found my co-workers sitting with Frank (who had abandoned the vegan experiment for the evening) and sat down. The appetizers and drinks started to circulate - foie gras, caviar, cheese balls, and little mounds of thinly cut roast beef circled the room, but I sat tight with my white wine and sparkling water (eyeballing Frank jealously the whole time, as he mowed his way happily through every appetizer that passed our table). When we finally moved to the room where the dinner was to take place, I was already starting to feel...well, I'll say it - a little tipsy.

Upon being seated, I noticed there was a small dinner roll waiting for at each of our places. I tore into it while our appetizer course was being served - tomato, mozerella, and basil salad. Sigh. I tossed my mozzerella over to Frank (he gave me his tomatoes, mercifully) and had some more wine. The wait staff was very accomodating - when the main course was served (salmon! my favorite!), they provided me and the other vegetarian at the table with the veggie dish, which consisted of a handful of string beans, some carrots and a lovely corn souffle (yes, cheese and cream, had to skip that). Also, the Wine Fairies circling the place had managed to refill my glass several times on the sly, so by the time I had eaten my 5 beans and 3 carrots, I was thoroughly pickled.

Staggering out of the lovely, classy New York Public Library (with the help of Frank, who gallantly kept his "I told you so"s to himself) was not my finest moment. I had held fast to my guns, but ended up shooting myself in the foot with them (in this particular case).

Day 5

This day was a bit of a blur. After the evening's events, I was feeling, ahem, a little under the weather. I did not waver, though. Instead of ordering a hangover remedy (I have to admit, a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich sounded really good), I sucked it up and ordered a salad for lunch. Even though I was feeling less than stellar, Frank and I had decided to cap off our week of veganism (AND our 2 year anniversary!) with a special dinner at Candle 79, one of the best vegetarian restaurants in the city.

You can read about our wonderful experience at Candle 79 here, my blog with Frank (we did a recap on our vegan week).

It's now been a full week since I went vegan, and I've gotta say - I'm sticking with it! I embarked on this experiment to see if I would experience any positive health benefits and I can say without hesitation that YES! I have! I have more energy, and I've lost a couple of pounds. Plus, in doing this, I've learned a lot about the icky things that go on in factory farms. It's gross, and it's bad for the environment. I'll refrain from stepping on the soapbox, but if you're curious, definately make a stop here - Frank's dad makes a very good case for going vegan in today's blog entry. Cow farts and burps! Damaging the environment! Read for yourself!

The vegan experiment: Day 2

Day 2

Breakfast - I woke up early and hit the gym. I was feeling pretty good so I ran for 2 miles on the treadmill. Then I rode my bike into work (another 2 miles), so I was ravenous by the time I got in. I brought some rice yogurt to try for breakfast, and eagerly opened it up. Gaaa! Gross! On every possible level - gross! Looks - like mucus! Smells - reeeally, reeeeally yogurt-y. Very pungent. Tastes - just like it looks and smells. Totally nasty. I had to toss it. I ended up having a Gnu Fiber bar and some raspberries for breakfast...

Snack 1 - ...which kept me feeling full for all of about 45 minutes. So I had some blueberries I brought in before breaking into my lunch (soy cheese sandwich) early.

(Actual) lunch - Had some spicy thai soup, which was okay. Had to eat some almonds to stave off hunger, though.

Snack 2 - OMG I LOVE SOY PUDDING! This stuff is GREAT! As in - I could probably swap it with regular pudding and no one would be able to tell (except for the fact that it has "Zen Soy" printed all over the package). Also had a little vegan snickerdoodle cookie, which was totally decent. After work, I grabbed some pita and hummus and fixed some edamame, which I shared with Frank when he got home. Frank (who is also going vegan this week) wasn't feeling that great today. He said he had a headache and was feeling tired. I thought it was stress. He thought it was lack of meat. Meat withdrawl, if you will. Hm. For the record, I feel swell.

Dinner - Headed across the street to my local falafel joint and got a falafel salad. Frank had some fake vegan chicken (he let me try it - it was pretty good! creepily enough, they actually emulated the texture of cooked chicken very closely!), which seemed to help with his meat withdrawl. Frank hit the soy ice cream, but I'm pretty full.

When I tell people about my attempt to go vegan, I often get the response - "Wow. That's going to be really hard." So far, I've been kind of surprised at how easy it's been. It's only been a couple of days, though, and some real challenges lie ahead (a fancy dinner out on Thursday - it's a sit-down corporate affair, so we'll be lucky if there's even a vegetarian option). However, I'm determined, and as anyone who's ever seen me dig my heels in knows, this means I WILL do this.

On a final note - last night, I saw something on television that said, "If God didn't want us to eat animals, He wouldn't have made them out of meat." Huh? What are humans made out of?

The Vegan Experiment: Day 1

Exhibit A: The Fuzzie-Wuzzies

For most of my life, I equated veganism with an image of an under-nourished, over-educated, smelly population of preachy hippies/militant activists. Over time, my worldview has expanded somewhat (although I am still annoyed by preachiness...and smelliness), and I now realize that there are some perfectly normal, healthy vegans out there. Today, I am becoming one of them.

My reasons for attempting this experiment are twofold: First, I'm interested to see if I experience an improvement in my overall health, and second, because I watched the latest episode of "30 Days" and got upset about the treatment of the fuzzie-wuzzies. So, for the next week (at least), I am setting aside my deep attachment to cheese and all things cheese-related (oh yeah, and all other foods originating in or having anything to do with animals). I will be documenting my efforts here for the education and/or amusement of the masses. Bon appetit.

Day 1:

Breakfast - Stood with my coffee (with soy creamer), examining the ingredients list on a box of Life cereal before realizing I had no soy milk at my disposal (and hazelnut-flavored soy coffee creamer might not blend well with the delicate flavors of Life cereal). Abandoned Life completely for instant oatmeal (prepared with water).

Snack 1 - Around 11, start rooting around the snack cabinet at work. Find some raw almonds and a plum. Eat them while thinking longingly of my usual snack (string cheese).

Noon - Realize with no small amount of horror that chocolate is made with milk and thereby is decidedly not vegan. Fight the urge to weep.

Lunch - Mixed greens salad with cherry tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, cucumber, and tofu. Yes, tofu. Tossed with enough balsalmic to disguise disappointing blandness of tofu.

Snack 2 - Am distraught to learn that my favorite flavor of Pop Chips contains milk. Exchange them for the much-less-flavorful (but still satisfying) "original" version. Eyeball the Babybel cheese mini-wheel in the fridge covetously, but resist. Must...think...about...the...fuzzie...wuzzies...

After work, I walked home and perused the contents of our fridge while having some pita and olive hummus. Other than that, there wasn't much in the way of vegan food in our place. When Frank came home, we took a field trip to our local health food store and loaded up with...SOY! Lots and lots of soy. Soy ice cream. Soy yogurt. Soy cheese. Soy milk. Some of it is going to be necessary to get through this week, other stuff we thought sounded cool and just wanted to try (vegan cookies! why the hell not?). We came home, inspected our pile of vegan booty with satisfaction and dove in. I had an Amy's Indian Burrito for dinner (weird, but good - spinach, tofu and Indian spices). I was thinking earlier that I might cap the night off with some soy ice cream, but I'm kind of all set with soy right now.

So far, so good! We'll see what tomorrow brings, but tonight, at least, I can sleep the sleep of the morally superior (Ha! Just kidding! Not preaching! No preaching here!)...